Becoming All of Me

I wrote this collection of 12 poems and one piece of autobiographical prose over the course of my gender journey in 2021. They cover a span of time from when I first realized I was genderqueer in late January through understanding and acceptance of myself as a trans man many months later.

Each poem is illustrated with at least one black and white digital ink drawing of a man or boy for a total of 23 portraits in the style of the cover image, at various sizes and levels of detail. As I am a young white man and this work is autobiographical, many of the portraits are of the same. Three are of Black men, two are Korean, and several are racially ambiguous.

Topics covered include dysphoria and self-doubt as well as self-acceptance, growth, and defiance, and feelings around starting testosterone and considering top surgery. My thoughts are uncensored from when I wrote them, meaning you will read as I work through difficult feelings that are not always healthy conceptualizations of various aspects of transness.

Content Warnings, by number of works:

• dysphoria (4)

• medical incompetence (1)

• menstruation (2)

• misgendering (1)

• self-doubt (3)

• self-misgendering (3)

• surgery (1)

• transmedicalism (1)

I offer this collection as pay-what-you-can, because I hope others can find themselves in my words, regardless of financial means. If you'd like to download now and pay later, you can always tip me at my KoFi. All proceeds will go towards my top surgery fund until that is completed.